Willowy strike zone aside, the ninth inning by Valdes last night was a bit of pitching the Cardinals’ own bullpen is currently a million miles away from. Like literally, physically, that is the way it feels.

Joe Strauss tweeted about a move being made sometime Saturday and then when I found out it was Chuckie Fick I passed out in my own laughter.

The dejecting part is: there are no more Colby Rasmuses to trade.

Schu did a Web Gem lol.

Beltran’s last 3 homers have come after the 4th inning. His first 11 didn’t.

Gone. basically Beltran is doing his best Jim Edmonds impression which is giving me serious 2004 vibes and is perfectly alright with me.

So far tonight Beltran appears to be playing CF from RF. I don’t want him to hurt himself, but anything’s better than Schu.

What’s going on with Berkman is what we thought would go on during his first season, obv. The Cardinals put him on a credit card and the bill’s come due. Skip to next season and it could be Beltran.

Fortunately, these high-risk, high-reward George Allen kind of stars aren’t what the organization is betting on for the long term. The irony’s that once they’re clear of Berkman, Beltran and Furcal contractually the Cardinals will be a primarily youthcore team and Craig Adams & Holliday are free to book their MV3 tattoo consults. That’s why last year’s title was more necessary than anyone thought at the time; it tides us over for the 2012-2013 worst-case scenario Peppermint Patty years.

Dodger Stadium, May 18 2012.

Dodger Stadium, May 18 2012.

Tonight’s BO:

P. Kozma 2B

K. Greene SS

Holliday LF

Berkman 1B

Freese C

P. Wilson CF

J. Rodriguez RF

J. Thurston 3B

Lynn P